No Longer Your Violent Expectations

We tell our boys to "man up" through hiding their emotions, showing their strength, by exhibiting their masculinity. Society enforces this by showing 'real' men with muscles on magazines, 'real' men protecting their family, 'real' men as a stereotype that is advertised to young boys to fulfill. This harmful, dangerous norm has caused a culture of toxic masculinity to flourish. 

Boys are taught to prove their masculinity through violence. In the video games aimed at them, the infamous movies society praises, and in the expectations society has for them, violence is glorified in order for success to occur through storyline/level advancement. Young boys are taught that the person who can inflict the most violence is the strongest and therefore is in control due to their power. Young boys see people like them committing mass shootings. 

Society describes femininity as weakness, and therefore not meant for 'real' men to be. 'Real' men are not vulnerable, they are not allowed to show their emotions, they cannot wear nor act in traditionally feminine ways without the possibility of being called gay (as if it is an insult or negative label) or being shamed. This patriarchal and homophobic belief-system causes boys/men to lean towards violent and ultra-masculine tendencies. 

But, these 'real' men are often not the actual real men but are rather those that are represented the most in society due to them being the "type" of men socialized media prefers. Though, men can and should be vulnerable, they can and should be emotional, they can be feminine, they can and should be themselves. Progressive society realizes that men do not have to fulfill a toxic masculinity that they are expected to. Progressive society knows that men do not have to revert to violence in order to prove themselves, that men can wear what they want to, that men do not have to adhere to a "boys will be boys" sentiment. 

Our boys should have a progressive movement, in a sense where it is more acceptable to denounce toxic masculinity. Society should unlearn socialization's negative effect on men as they have began to with women. To achieve an equality, gender should be accepted as a fluid spectrum where expression is not confined, where men do not have to be violent, and representation is not limited or token-ed. 

(This analysis is based off of the articles 'The Boys Are Not Alright' and 'Not Your Father's Masculinity', as well as the documentary Tough Guise 2 )